My Work

There have been a lot of questions concerning what I do on a day-to-day basis. Let me clear these up once and for all; I get enough assumptions and presuppositions as it is, thank you very much.

A few years back, after Elbonia lost the contract with the US Government, Kyrgyzstan became the number one provider of outsourced economic data for governments around the world. When Federal Reserve economists want to know what is going on in the next few years, they turn to us.

We follow a time honored process of taking fermented goat's milk, mixed with fresh horse milk, and a large quantity of vodka. We then burn the mixture, adding vodka to keep the flame, until we are left with just a mushy, powdery residue. Within the remnants, we look for indications of the future. Unfortunately, this year, the butter-swan appeared, which meant a continuing credit crunch, bad debts, and failed banks. Too bad it wasn't the flying goat hare (yes, that is the proper use of hare). That is a good sign (at least for those in pig commodities trading).