Celebrity Me

Look, I made the news!

I was actually wearing a dark suit and a pair of black Balmorals when they called me into the meeting. Then they said that I didn't look "American" enough, so I had to change my outfit to accommodate the Nikes.

We were discussing a recent gift to Australia. We had sent them 12,420 manaschis, 3,674 komuz players, and 6,238 poods of horse meat. By the way, it is easy to remember these units of mass, just think "шальная беседа" and you'll remember:

• one pood = 40 funts
• 1 funt = 32 lots
• 1 lot = 3 zolotniks
• 1 zolotnik = 96 dolias

 Right now they were discussing whether Manas or Ned Kelly could win in a fight. It turns out, this has become quite a heated exchange between the Aussies and the manaschis we sent there. They asked me to decide. I said that Spiderman would win. They said something rude about Americans and then asked me to leave.